


Short Circut Flirt

by HexDecimal



Series: Requested Fics [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, I write Oma as Ouma, M/M, and K1-B0 as Keebo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:02:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24195589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HexDecimal/pseuds/HexDecimal
Summary: After Kokichi begins to use pickup lines on Keebo, the robot turns to Miu for advice on what to do.Maybe it worked a little too well.Also cut me some slack. Thinking up clever replies to pickup lines is surprisingly difficult. That, or I'm just not the brightest crayon in the box. This is also my first time writing this ship.
Relationships: K1-B0/Oma Kokichi
Series: Requested Fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1743412
Comments: 8
Kudos: 97





	Short Circut Flirt

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sky_Faiyassu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sky_Faiyassu/gifts).



> Request from Sky_Faiyassu
> 
> \---Would you mind doing a Keebo X Kokichi fic with Kokichi trying really hard to fluster Keebs with pickup lines but only to have them back fire miserably? I do have a couple in mind such as, "'Hows the most beautiful guy in the world doing today?' 'I don't know... How are you doing today Kokichi?'"---
> 
> This is my first time writing this pairing, and I'm not the best at doing Kokichi. I hope you don't mind the Miu bit I included.

“He has been saying odd things to me for the past week and I do not understand why!” Keebo was with Miu in her lab, assisting in the repairs of a few small machines. Miu had asked him to assist her, but she wasn’t actually giving her any tasks over than handing her the occasional tool as she lay underneath an invention, cussing softly. She probably just liked hearing about his relationship drama. The blonde had never really liked Ouma, as far as Keebo could tell. “Then he says I should get my processors updated. I don’t think he understands how I function.”  
Miu didn’t bother to pull herself from beneath the heap of metal and wires, but simply spoke loudly so she could be heard as she hammered something into place. Truth be told, it wasn’t that different from her usual volume. “It’s called flirting, you tard!” More obscenities, probably from hitting herself with the hammer if the clang of metal on the floor from her dropping it was any indication. “You know? Like couples do? Even that failed abortion knows how to flirt.”  
Keebo simply sighed, intertwining his fingers together and looking down at them. “It’s different from the usual exchange of endearing terms. Now they are simply… odd. F-for example,” the android stood, and Miu groaned like she always did when he began one of his little tangents. “It is not compliments like ‘I love you’ or ‘you look nice’ or other things you see in movies.”  
Now Miu had emerged from where she’d been working, a bit of oil on her face as she removed her goggles. “No offense Kee-babe, but Cocki doesn’t fuckin’ strike me as the type to be into the sappy ‘I love you’ shit.”   
“Th-that’s not what I am complaining about though. What I am struggling to understand is when he compares me to days of the year, or parkings tickets!” This only gave him a blank stare from Miu, followed by a confused arch of her brow, followed by a little wave of her hand to ask for elaboration. Keebo continued. “On October tenth he texted me and asked if I was ‘today’s date’ because I was ‘10/10’. And on November 23 he came up to me and said ‘Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got fine written all over you.’ And then ran off!”  
A pause, before the strawberry blonde burst into a fit of laughter. “H-holy shit! You can’t be serious!” Pausing long enough to look at Kiibo’s deadpan expression only caused another round as she nearly toppled onto the floor laughing. “You’re actually-?! Holy fuck, did you break a circut or some shit, or are all robots this dense?”  
“H-hey!” He took a bit of a defensive stance, his expression souring as Miu made her rather robophobic remark. “I a-am not dense, I just figured you would be able to explain it to me!”  
At his angry shout, Miu shrunk back with a soft whimper. “Sh-shit… I was just f-fuckin’ around… don’t have to yell at me…” Taking a moment to gather herself and try to wipe the oil from her chin, Miu didn’t so much as face Keebo as she began her explanation. “They’re called pickup lines, dipshit. Fuckin’ terrible ones at that.”  
“Pickup… lines? Is that a coding term?”  
“Is that a-?! Why the fuck would that grape shota cocksucker talk code to you!” She snapped, and Keebo looked away in embarrassment. She had a point… “Pickup lines are shitty ways guys try to get bitches to like them. Mostly a damn play on words.”  
A play on words? Blinking a few times, his mouth slowly opened as it finally struck him. “S-so he did not mean October tenth as the date, but rather a rating on a scale of one to ten?”  
“Uhh… duh-doy!”   
“And… he meant ‘fine’ as an adjective, not a noun!” The small android stood, slamming a fist to his palm. “I see! Thank you, Miu! I will reciprocate immediately!”  
As Keebo began to leave the lab, the inventor nabbed him by the shoulder, halting his exit. “Hold it right there. You can’t just go repeat the same shit! You need to be clever and witty. No offense, but you’re the spitting image of the exact opposite of that. Un-witty.”  
“You could simply say unclever.”  
“Whatever! What I mean is, you’re gonna fuckin’ embarass yourself! Lucky for you…” She reached into a nearby heap of what looked liked random hunks of metal, and retrieved a small box. “I invented this bad boy. Was gonna smash it for parts for an invention that lets you learn an instrument while you sleep, but I guess you can have it.” She said with a little shrug, tossing the metal box to Keebo.  
He turned it around in his hands a few times, confused. All it featured was a button and a tiny slot. Sort of like a piggy bank. “I see… I am grateful but… what is its function?”  
Clicking her tongue, Miu leaned over and tapped the button on the cube. With a little whirr it rumbled in Keebo’s grasp, before a small slip of paper emerged from the slit on one side. Plucking the piece of paper from the box, Miu held it out and dramatically cleared her throat. “I think I lost my number. Can I have yours?” Keebo blinked at her as she crumpled up the piece of paper and tossed it over her shoulder. “It’s a tiny box that spits out pickup lines. Trés pratique, eh? I know, I know, I’m a fucking genius. No need to thank me!”  
Now Keebo pressed the button himself before reading the tiny piece of paper. “If I was a stoplight, I would turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a little longer.” He read aloud, furrowing his brow. Interesting. This… this could actually really help! Grinning, he suddenly hugged the inventor as she let out a startled squeak. “Thank you, Miu! I really appreciate this!”  
“Y-yeah just… f-fuck off before your boytoy starts calling me a homewrecker…”

\---

“Ohhhhhhh Keeeeeeeeeeboooooooooooooooo!” It was still early into the morning, and Keebo had just been making his way to the dining hall when a familiar call caught his attention. Before he could even prepare himself, Kokichi was suddenly clinging to his arm, looking up at him with wide eyes and a broad smile. “How’s the most beautiful guy in the world doing today?”  
Oh! This was his chance. Keebo had spent hours reading over pickup lines, some considerably more raunchy than others, but that was to be expected considering who he’d received them from. Straightening his posture, he looked the other boy in the eye before managing a reply. “Hmm… I don’t know… how are you today, Kokichi?”  
There was a pause, and the small boy’s mouth fell open ever so slightly as he heard these words. For a moment, Keebo grew worried. That wasn’t a pickup line, he’d simply reacted how he’d calculated from other lines to hopefully create a good response… had he done it wrong?  
“Who taught you that?” Kokichi’s words snapped the robot into focus, and Keebo quickly looked around for an escape. He couldn’t admit it was Miu, or else he’d never hear the end of it. Not to mention Kokichi’s uncanny ability to cry on command never failed to make Keebo feel guilty.   
“N-nobody, I was simply stating the truth…” He mumbled, trying to keep it cool. Kokichi squinted his eyes, giving him a distrusting look before quickly returning to his normal chipper self and taking hold of Keebo’s hand.  
“Whatever! Let’s go to breakfast already! Unlike you I actually need some food, I haven’t eaten in aaaaaggeessssss.”

They sat at breakfast, Kokichi shoveling food into his mouth as the two made idle chat. By some miracle, Miu had managed to butt out and not pester Keebo on whether or not her invention had helped, thank Atua. “Hey, Keeboy.” Looking up from where he’d been drumming his fingers, he found Ouma to be leaning over the table, smirking. “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”  
Ah, another attempt. His boyfriend had always been a stubborn one. Giving Kokichi an innocent smile, and a little tilt of his head. “Well, it’s your fault Ouma, since I fell for you.”  
Kokichi’s face reddened a bit but he quickly sunk back into his seat, acting casual. Or at least, he was trying. “Pfft! Talk about cheesy! How desperate was your creator to program those into you?”

The next attempt was outside. Kokichi had dragged Keebo along to help with his next big prank, which for some reason involved a great deal of branches and pebbles. Keebo was holding a small pouch of rocks and several fallen branches tucked under one arm, when he realized he’d lost sight of his partner in crime. “Ouma?” He called out, looking around.  
A sudden “BOO!” nearly caused Keebo to drop everything, and he quickly spun to see Kokichi with his hands behind his back, whistling as if nothing had happened. The robot sighed, adjusting his grip on the branches as Kokichi dramatically spun, putting his hand in front of his face as if he was holding a camera. “I’m not the Ultimate Photographer, but I can picture you and me together!”  
This time, Keebo’s response was near immediate, and he practically dropped everything once more from his sheer excitement to answer. “Oh? Really, I thought you were! Since everytime I look at you, I smile.”   
Ouma was stunned once more, before suddenly storming close. “Come on! You’re cheating! Who’s telling you these! You got an earpiece or something?!”  
“Wh--what?” Keebo dropped the supplies as Kokichi tried grabbing at the side of his head, and took a step back. “No! Honest, nobody is instructing me on what to say!”   
The smaller boy stuck his tongue out, and scrunched up his face. “Bull! There’s no way you suddenly got good at this!” A little stamp of his foot, like a child throwing a tantrum. “You’re supposed to be the flustered one!”   
“Eh? So… my comments and pick up lines are flustering you, Kokichi?” Keebo inquired, earning another intense blush from the other.   
“Wha-? That’s not-!” He threw his hands into the air, groaning in frustration before jabbing a finger to Keebo’s chest. “How’d you suddenly get good at this? Some kind of weird software update?”  
“N-no I just… Learned some techniques and lines to impress you.” He admitted, nervously pressing his fingers together. “When you first started with them, I did not understand, so I thought I could learn so I could play along.”  
Now Kokichi stopped, and looked up at Keebo with wide eyes. “You… studied pickup lines.”  
“Y-yes…”  
“Just so you could make witty comebacks?” A little arch of Ouma’s brow. What was this, and interrogation?!  
“I… I s-suppose. That wasn’t really my intent though…”  
With that Kokichi stepped back, and placed his hands behind his head. “Well why didn’t you just say so! You robots are so confusing.” He stated in a matter-of-fact tone, turning around. “At least I’m doing it naturally so… I guess your weird technique doesn’t bug me that much. Boo hoo, huh?”  
Keebo sighed, and gave a soft roll of his eyes. Of course he’d be the one at fault in the end. No matter. Ouma’s snide and offhand remarks were made with no ill intent, and they served as a bit of a confirmation. What Keebo was doing had an affect on the boy.   
“Hey, Kokichi.” Keebo called after him as he abandoned the supplies they’d gone outside for.  
“Yeah, what do you need now?”  
“Can I follow you back home? I was always told to follow my dreams.”  
“...Y-yeah just… don’t say anything that awful again, or I’ll give you to Miu for scraps. ”


End file.
